Musings By Jan

Never Gone

Some of you might have known that I suffered a condition called "Backstreetitis" this past week. For those who didn't know, it is a condition where one is too overexcited by this boy band called Backstreet Boys and suffering from the overexcitement before seeing them alive and suffering the after effect of that particular excitement.

I can't believe I saw BSB live. Seriously. IT WAS EFFIN' AWESOME!!!! I haven't been to many concerts, but I've been to those I love - 98 Degrees and Boyz II Men. All concerts were great, but this one is def the best. I know I’ve said Boyz II men was the best, of course it’s boyz II men hehehe. I think part of the reason is because we were in the crowd. Usually I took the seat, (cheaper tix) lol. When you were seated, not much excitement going on really. Usually we stood and moved with the beat but from my experience with the BSB one, the feel is different. I know it is tiring because of standing, craning your neck to see the boys (i had muscle sore all over my body, stiff neck until today), but I love the feeling, being the crowd who are as crazy as you are (more crazy even), like you are like follow the crowd, jumping about and screaming etc.

Anyway, the boys were amazing. I miss Kevin tho. But for the others, they were great. They gave their all in the performance. You know there were times when you went shows like this, you always wanted more? At the end of the show, I was really satisfied and glad the show is over. I mean, what else can we ask for when they have delivered everything? The best moments for me was when they sang “I’ll never break your heart”, “Everybody”,  the encore “Shape of My Heart” and of course, my fave BSB song “Incomplete”. When the music for I’ll never break your heart started, you can see the crowd’s delight. As for me, the song is very nostalgic. It reminds me of college days, reminding me of my younger days. The first time I heard that song, it makes me wanna cry because I really want someday someone will say that to me, ya know? And the pathetic thing is, I still have that feeling. Hahahaha. Anyway, the crowd of course sang it louder than the boys. But, I have to mention, if the crowd was crazy during the other songs, we reached scorching hot during “Everybody”. Let me tell you, words cant really described it. IT WAS INSANE! The crowd automatically became this wild, crazy one, we danced and jumped with the beat of the music. At that moment, I can’t really hear anything cuz the crowd was so loud, I cant even hear my own voice. I am not sure I have voice at that time.

Apart from great performance from the boys, I think the best part of it is sharing with people who love them too and to be able to experience this with them is definitely priceless. As such, I am glad I shared this experience with my best friend D and her sis. Before I went to the concert, I received a lot of comments from people, saying things like “you are going to see BSB? They are old!” or “aren’t you too old for this?” or “u r so juvenile, jan” or “BSB? Weii dorang tu dah lapuk la”. WTH? Nak buat camner, when I was a teenager, dorang takde pulak nak dtg kan? and why not enjoy the things that we enjoyed before? I still enjoy their songs. I am not ashamed that I love them and never will be. And too bad for you, you missed one hell of a great show.

I had a really great time, and that is what matters ;P

 

Feeling The Moment

I am not sure why, but I think I was incapable of putting my emotions and feelings down in writing for these past few weeks. To be exact, I don't feel like sharing my feelings. Writing in my blog has always been my solace whenever I feel something. Today, I visited my musings (havent been visiting for awhile) and basically read all through haha. I frowned when I read my emotional rants (kinda embarrassed too ;P), and grinned reading my wacky thoughts. I miss myself. haha.

So, what's new? For work, I finally moved from my old co. To say I was relieved when I tendered my resignation is an understatement. The day I resigned, I felt like I was walking on air all the time. I was elated. Seriously, eventho I didnt get the second half of year end bonus, I was happy just to get out. Friends commented that I look happier, and sounded happier (online eventho I am not saying anything haha). I guess, finding new job has bogged me down from other things and made me miserable. My friends there were the only thing that kept me sane. 

Work at new co is so far, good. It is not exactly a new company, it is actually the first company I joined after chambering. I was there for 2 years until circumstances made me move. My old boss called me and told me there is a vacancy for me, and I jumped to the opportunity. Now I am here, I felt like I never left. Thanks Pootz, for making this real. I am forever grateful to you. Work is interesting, sometimes tough and I know it can be stressful, but at least I am doing something that I like. 

Now, with no pressure of going to interviews, or worrying about getting a new job, I think I can start worrying about other things. lol. I am opening my heart (and even before I started I got wounded already...ouch! hahahah) and I began reading again (eventhough at the moment I am limited in cheesy romance phase - dont blame me, it IS the LOVE month). But most of all, I am hoping for good things. I've been miserable for the longest time, and this year I want to just be able to "chill out" and just enjoy the moment.

Wish me the best, friends.